Thursday. The véspera. Christmas Eve in Brazil has been perhaps my oddest Christmas Eve, in major part because the family I am staying with did not invite either Miki or me to dine with them on this important day of religious observance (their religion, Catholicism). I am not religious, though I think Jesus or the modern conception of Jesus did some cool things, but I do like some family bonding. So Miki and I found it odd, and at least a bit disappointing to not be included. As it turned out, the family didn’t have their Christmas dinner at home, so that made things a bit less awkward.
But the entirety of the experience put me in mind of Christmases past, when I was welcomed at festivities and enjoyed the familial nature of the holiday. Besides Christmases with my own family in Middle America, I spent three blessed Christmases in Peru with the Blanco Angeles Lucar family (and the Rojas Leons!). The Christmas I was 20 I got to be with the lovely familie van der Heijden in the Netherlands. I spent at least one (or was it two?)(or three?) Christmases with the sweet and stiff upper-lipped Kinlans in England. My oddest Christmas before this year was in 2010, when I was alone on safari in Kenya. The Kenyan friend I was visiting was puzzlingly anti-Christmas and didn’t plan to celebrate, so I went off to commune with safari trucks. I found myself in a lodge (not a luxury lodge) decorated with balloons. For the special occasion, we were served goat for dinner. I cannot staaaaand goat and henceforth had to request no goat for my dinners, which I think was frowned upon (but I really, really don’t like goat!). So that Christmas wasn’t very family-oriented and was the first time, I think, that I realized that I like Christmas. I’m a softie hiding inside a curmudgeon! I don’t like mandatory gifts (giving or receiving)(gifts aren’t my love language!)(cheese pizza is my love language), but I like lights and kids (the ones who are related to me) and casseroles. So Christmas is pretty good.
After Kenya I think I spent a Christmas dog sitting alone (except for the dogs!) in Colorado. I like dogs! And I got to read a new Steve Martin book, so I guess being alone that year didn’t bother me. My nuclear family kinda focuses more on Thanksgiving, anyway. No gifts, yay.
The last two Christmases I have spent with the Hoods in Dallas, Texas — another cultural experience (Southern hospitality, y’all). And with the way Christmas Eve in Brazil turned out (the eve is the important day here), I was a little bit kinda bummed to not have spent this Christmas with them too. But there’s always next year, maybe, baby. If I’m not in France or Asia or on the moon.
Anyway, Christmas Eve day was quite full because we had six hours of class at school. We also had a pot luck Christmas Eve lunch (at 10:30 am), to which everyone contributed. I bought watermelon from a street stall, and it was pink and crisp and lovely. (Screw your white Christmas; I’m having eternal summer.)
I also learned a thing about the Japanese. The language school, alas, only had about 6 plates for 20 or so people. As I was standing near the plates, I picked one up and handed it to Miki. She refused it, so I kept it, glad to have a plate. After I had eaten, I washed the plate and again handed it to Miki, who was eating a piece of cake off a napkin. And again she refused it. So I just set it on the table, and someone else took it. So, like, the Japanese want to be the LAST to have the plate. Because that’s polite. Inconvenient as hell to balance a potluck lunch in one hand, but polite!
The director of the school, Maria, handed out packages of black Brazilian candy (hand-made, I think) to everyone, which was nice, though I found the candy itself maybe not that nice. I need more preservatives, y’all!
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After class Suraiya led Miki and me to a little shopping center to look for Brazilian dolls. Miki wanted to buy one, and it turned out I liked them too but didn’t have any money with me — the story of my whole entire life! — so I hope I remember to go back and buy dolls before I leave Salvador.
We parted with Suraiya and, as we were headed in the general direction of the apartment in the sky, we came across — GASP! — a burger joint called Bob’s Burgers. Now, I love love love the cartoon for adult people called Bob’s Burgers, which I watch with my sweetheart. The food at Bob’s was totally disgusting, but the marketing was fab.
Miki and I always tend to part ways permanently for the evening once we reach our homestay, but after resting for a bit, I knocked on her door to tell her it was a most pleasant temperature out on the balcony, which sits off my bedroom. Miki is used to Christmas being a non-thing. It’s not even a work holiday in Japan, but she had also found it odd to not be invited to partake in something that the Brazilians do, in fact, consider a thing (and rather a big thing). But, in the end, we had a pleasant evening reading side by side on the balcony overlooking many other apartment buildings and, at two o’clock, the sea. She read a Japanese book (left to right!) about Brazil, and I read an essay by David Foster Wallace about the annual pornography awards held in Los Angeles (the Oscars of porn!). In my defense, my interest in DFW was reignited by the recently released movie about DFW, which I didn’t even like, and I didn’t know the essay would be about porn. Less in my defense, I found myself in a fit of silent giggles (Miki still noticed) over this paragraph:
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“To be fair, some of the nominated products’ titles are genuinely confusing. Triple Penetration Debutante Sluts 4 is up for Most Outrageous Sex Scene — along with Wild Bananas on Butt Row and 87 and Still Bangin’ — but loses out to a scene from a video called My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend. Paul Thomas’s Bad Wives wins Best Film. Evil Angel’s Buda wins Best Shot-on-Video-Feature. The Best Foreign Release statuette goes to something European called President By Day, Hooker By Night.Bad Wives also wins Best Actress/Film for Dyanna Lauren, Best Supporting Actress/Film for Melissa Hill, and Best Anal Sex Scene/Film for Lauren and Steven St. Croix. Best Compilation Tape honors go to The Voyeur’s Favorite Blow Jobs and Anals. David Cronenberg’s mainstream Crash comes out of absolutely nowhere to win something called Best Alternative Adult Feature Film…”
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Thanks for the giggles, DFW. Feliz Natal.